between the rock and the cold, cold sea

Incantation of the First Order by Rita Dove

2021-11-07T15:40:17Z

Incantation of the First Order by Rita Dove

Listen, no one signed up for this lullaby.
No bleeped sheep or rosebuds or twitching stars
will diminish the fear or save you from waking

into the same day you dreamed of leaving—
mockingbird on back order, morning bells
stuck on snooze—so you might as well

get up and at it, pestilence be damned.
Peril and risk having become relative,
I’ll try to couch this in positive terms:

Never! is the word of last resorts,
Always! the fanatic’s rallying cry.
To those inclined toward kindness, I say

Come out of your houses drumming. All others,
beware: I have discarded my smile but not my teeth.

comments

Demolition person

2021-07-21T10:13:54Z

This morning, as our heatwave continues, I used a sledgehammer to knock down a garden structure that has been bedevilling me since we moved in. It was actually a lot of fun. Though 4.5kg at the edge of a stick is a mighty scary bit of weaponry.

comments

Swim to the shore, swim out to sea

2021-07-09T16:11:52Z

So my exercise lately is going for a swim. (I swam to the shore and back in that image, not exactly endurance swimming but I'm building up.) Sometimes a bike ride and a swim. The sea surface temperature is up to a balmy 15C - well up from the 9C of back in late April, even if it's not exactly a Mediterranean sort of blissful, stay-in-all-day temperature.

What else is new with me? My beloved wife has offered to celebrate with a nice meal if I reach 50K words on my novel-in-progress - if I stop shying away from it, acting like what I write could never have value. (She didn't say that, exactly. But she's right, I should try to have more self-belief.)

Here is a poem I was reading:

The Blue-Green Stream

by Wang Wei
Translated by Florence Ayscough and Amy Lowell

Every time I have started for the Yellow Flower River,
I have gone down the Blue-Green Stream,
Following the hills, making ten thousand turnings,
We go along rapidly, but advance scarcely one hundred li.
We are in the midst of a noise of water,
Of the confused and mingled sounds of water broken by stones,
And in the deep darkness of pine trees.
Rocked, rocked,
Moving on and on,
We float past water-chestnuts
Into a still clearness reflecting reeds and rushes.
My heart is clean and white as silk; it has already achieved Peace;
It is smooth as the placid river.
I love to stay here, curled up on the rocks,
Dropping my fish-line forever.

comments

through the heart of the sun

2021-07-03T16:37:03Z

I'm sitting in my freshly re-organised front room, trying to convince my hind-brain that this is where work happens now. I don't know how successful I'm being at it, or how I might increase the amount of success. On the other hand, the cats seem pretty pleased that they have a whole bed to sprawl on beside a human.

We apparently also have a family of juvenile brown rats in our back garden, so there's probably several nests lurking in the shrubbery. Have a poem!

Fire-Flowers
by Emily Pauline Johnson

And only where the forest fires have sped,
Scorching relentlessly the cool north lands,
A sweet wild flower lifts its purple head,
And, like some gentle spirit sorrow-fed,
It hides the scars with almost human hands.

And only to the heart that knows of grief,
Of desolating fire, of human pain,
There comes some purifying sweet belief,
Some fellow-feeling beautiful, if brief.
And life revives, and blossoms once again.

comments

high is the mountain, deep is the sea

2021-06-29T15:07:33Z

Over the last few days, we've been rearranging the house. My books have moved downstairs into the newly-floored-in-laminate-wood room, to be a combination office/spare room, while the previous shared office is... being less shared. Stacked on top of the bookshelves are my unread books, a mountain that does not encompass the set of shelves by my bedside at night.

The dis-arranging of things (in order to rearrange them) is deeply unsettling to my ability to focus. I have succeeded in getting nothing else done.

But here is a poem I was reading:

Interrogation of an Alternate Timeline

Hazem Fahmy

On a dusty rooftop in Giza, I tell Imam,
in another life, he and Hugh would have been
the best of friends. I picture Hugh, taking him
by the arm down the corniche
or the Cape, the cool night air refusing
silence. I hear their strings and tubes cutting through
beaming crowds in Imbaba and Soweto. Miriam
is serenading an open sea, clicking to the wind
by El Montaza. I see Biko
and Negm, side by side, in a crowded auditorium,
a whole generation huddled
around their voices. This is to say, in another
life revolution would be but
abstract. Biko would be a doctor,
perhaps in Durban. There would be no trains
for Hugh to sing of, save for those
that would bring him back to his loved
ones, safely. Negm would only be known
for love poems. What more
could one ask for? Let us not cheer
for those who would rather die
as soldiers when there is no
war. My whole life I have envied
the kind of thirst for music
that can be quenched by
Elvis and Sinatra. I have prayed
nightly for those I have idolized
to find a good night’s sleep
before deadly fame. What good is poetry
if it kills the poet? In another life, what must be said
here is but fairytale, ghost stories
for the rowdy children. Kanafani would live
in Acre, Baldwin would die
in Harlem, neither knowing the taste
of exile. I would write of bees
and clocks. I would not need men’s solemn
crooning to put me
to sleep. I would not mourn
the dead.

comments

rustles under the dust covers

2021-06-22T14:47:58Z

Have I forgotten how this thing works? Are we live ON AIR?

Here we are now.

I'm procrastinating writing a Sleeps With Monsters column (on Kerstin Hall's Star Eater, Nino Cipri's Finna, and Jo Spurrier's Winter Be My Shield) and writing up two history books for Patreon (Jim Bradbury's Stephen and Mathilda: the Civil War of 1139-53, which is alas slight, and Peter Garnsey's Famine and Food Supply in the Graeco-Roman World: Responses to Risk and Crisis, which is basically Food Crises and Their Evidence at Athens and Rome), so while I'm waving my hands around forgetting how focus works, I'll share a poem:

"June Sunset" by Sarojini Naidu

Here shall my heart find its haven of calm,
By rush-fringed rivers and rain-fed streams
That glimmer thro’ meadows of lily and palm.
Here shall my soul find its true repose
Under a sunset sky of dreams
Diaphanous, amber and rose.
The air is aglow with the glint and whirl
Of swift wild wings in their homeward flight,
Sapphire, emerald, topaz, and pearl.
Afloat in the evening light.

A brown quail cries from the tamarisk bushes,
A bulbul calls from the cassia-plume,
And thro’ the wet earth the gentian pushes
Her spikes of silvery bloom.
Where’er the foot of the bright shower passes
Fragrant and fresh delights unfold;
The wild fawns feed on the scented grasses,
Wild bees on the cactus-gold.

An ox-cart stumbles upon the rocks,
And a wistful music pursues the breeze
From a shepherd’s pipe as he gathers his flocks
Under the pipal-trees.
And a young Banjara driving her cattle
Lifts up her voice as she glitters by
In an ancient ballad of love and battle
Set to the beat of a mystic tune,
And the faint stars gleam in the eastern sky
To herald a rising moon.

comments

How long has it been?

2020-07-12T19:30:30Z

A long time.

Honestly, guys, I don't even know what this year is LIKE.

comments

Gym log, Wed 29th Jan 2020

2020-01-29T18:30:46Z

Benchpress, dumbbells, 4x10 at 17.5kg/arm.
Squats, barbell, 5x5 at 90kg.
Lat raise, 3x10 at 7.5kg/arm.
Scap raise, 3x10 at 5kg/arm.

Exercise bike: 11.27km in 30:00.

comments

Gym log, Wed 22 Jan 2020

2020-01-22T19:31:13Z

Benchpress, dumbbells, 4x10 at 17.5kg/arm
Lat raise, 3x10 at 7.5kg/arm
Scap raise, 3x10 at 5kg/arm

Exercise bike: 10.9km in 30:00.
Rowing: 5km in 29:30

comments

Gym log, Wednesday 24th April 2019

2019-04-24T13:30:39Z

Dumbbell benchpress: 1x5 at 17.5kg/arm, 4x5 at 20kg/arm
Squats: 5x5 at 90kg
Hip thrust: 3x5 at 40kg
Dumbbell bent-over row: 5x5 at 15kg/arm
Deadlift: 3x8 at 50kg
Lat raise: 3x10 at 7kg/arm
Scap raise: 3x10 at 4kg/arm
Military press: 3x8 at 4kg/arm.

Exercise bike: 2km in 05:10.

comments

Gym log, Wednesday 3rd April 2019

2019-04-03T21:09:31Z

Weigh-in: 110kg

Dumbbell benchpress: 17.5kg/arm, 4x8
Squats: 90kg, 5x5
Hip thrust: 30kg, 3x5
Bent-over row: 40kg, 3x8
Deadlift: 50kg, 3x8
Lat raise: 7.5kg/arm, 3x10
Overhead press: 20kg, 3x5
Bicep curl: 5kg/arm, 3x10

Exercise bike: 5km in 13:30.

comments

Gym log, Thursday 7th February 2019

2019-02-07T15:46:18Z

Exercise bike: 11.5km in 30:00.

comments

Gym log, Wednesday 6th February

2019-02-06T17:12:59Z

Weigh-in: 109kg

Benchpress: 6x5 at 55kg
Squats: 5x5 at 95kg
Overhead press: 4x5 at 20kg
Bent-over row: 5x5 at 40kg
Deadlift: 3x8 at 50kg
Lat raise: 3x12 at 6kg/arm
Lat pull-down: 2x5 at 30kg
Bicep curl: 5x5 at 15kg

Cycling: 5.56kg in 15:00

comments

Gym log, Monday 21st January 2019

2019-01-21T22:30:50Z

Weigh-in: 109kg

Benchpress: 5x5 at 60kg
Squats: 1x5 at 95kg, 3x5 at 100kg, 1x5 at 95kg
Deadlift: 3x8 at 50kg
Bent-over row: 4x6 at 35kg
Lat raise: 3x10 at 7kg/arm
Bicep curl: 3x5 at 7kg/arm.

comments

Gym log, Wednesday 16th January 2019

2019-01-16T16:19:58Z

Weigh-in: 109kg approx.

Benchpress: 1x5 at 50kg. 5x5 at 55kg.
Squats: 5x5 at 90kg
Bent-over row: 5x5 at 35kg
Deadlift: 3x8 at 45kg
Overhead press: 3x10 at 10kg
Lat raise: 3x10 at 7.5kg/arm
Bicep curl: 3x5 at 5kg/arm

No cycling. I have to come back to the gym tomorrow for a physio appointment, so I'll do cardio then.

comments

Gym log, Monday 7th January 2019

2019-01-07T18:53:49Z

Weigh-in: 108kg

Benchpress: 5x5 at 55kg
Squats: 5x5 at 80kg
Deadlift: 3x8 at 40kg
Bent-over row: 5x5 at 20kg
Lat raise: 3x10 at 7kg/arm
Bicep curl: 3x5 at 5kg/arm

Cycling: 9.44km in 25:00

comments

Gym log, Saturday 1st January 2019

2019-01-05T16:52:04Z

It's been a couple of months since I made it to the gym, between house-moves and holiday season. I had some anxiety over going back, and anxiety too about the state of my physical body.

But I feel a lot better for having gone.

Weigh-in: 108kg
Benchpress: 5x5 at 55kg
Squats: 5x5 at 80kg
Deadlift: 3x8 at 40kg
Bent-over row: 3x5 at 20kg
Lat raise: 3x10 at 7kg/arm
Bicep curl: 3x5 at 5kg/arm
Cycling: 7.72km in 20:00

I also booked myself a set of six fencing lessons starting next Friday. Because I need structure, dammit.

comments

Books 2018: log, much belated

2019-01-01T21:45:12Z

Books 2018: 168-205

168. Arwen Elys Dayton, Stronger, Faster, and More Beautiful. Delacorte Press, 2018.
169. T. Kingfisher, Swordheart. Argyll Productions, 2018.
170. Melissa Scott, Finders. Candlemark and Gleam, 2018.
171. Sujata Massey, The Widows of Malabar Hill. Soho Crime, 2018.
172. CJ Cherryh and Jane Fancher, Alliance Rising. DAW, 2019.
173. CJ Cherryh, The Deep Beyond. DAW, [date].
174. CJ Cherryh, Alliance Space. DAW, [date].
175. Effie Calvin, Daughter of the Sun. NineStar Press, 2018.
176. Stephanie Gunn, Icefall. Twelfth Planet, 2018.
177. Genevieve Cogman, The Mortal Word. Tor UK, 2018.
178. MCA Hogarth, Girl on Fire. Ebook, 2018.
179. Mirah Bolender, City of Broken Magic. Tor, 2018.
180. Juliet Kemp, The Deep and Shining Dark. Elsewhen Press, 2018.
181. Ben Aaronovitch, Lies Sleeping. DAW/Gollancz, 2018.
182. Abra Staffin-Wiebe, The Unkindness of Ravens. Ebook, 2018.
183. Tasha Suri, Empire of Sand. Orbit, 2018.
184. Hye-Young Pyun, City of Ash and Red. Arcade Publishing, 2018.
185. Catherynne M. Valente, Mass Effect: Annihilation. Titan Books, 2018.
186. Ada Harper, A Conspiracy of Whispers. Ebook, 2017.
187. Ada Harper, A Treason of Truths. Ebook, 2018.
188. Kate Heartfield, Alice Payne Arrives. Tor.com Publishing, 2018.
189. Richard Baker, Restless Lightnings. Tor, 2018.
190. Jim C. Hines, Terminal Uprising. DAW, 2019.
191. Robert Jackson-Bennett, Vigilance. Tor.com Publishing, 2019.
192. P. Djèlí Clark, The Haunting of Tramcar 015. Tor.com Publishing, 2019.
193. Katharine Duckett, Miranda in Milan. Tor.com Publishing, 2019.
194. Carsen Taite, The Pursuit of Happiness. Bold Strokes Books, 2018.
195. Alex White, A Bad Deal for the Whole Galaxy. Orbit, 2018.
196. Amy Rose Capetta and Cori McCarthy, Once and Future. Little Brown & Co, 2019.
197. Marshall Ryan Maresca, The Way of the Shield. DAW, 2018.
198. Cyril Hare, An English Murder. Project Gutenberg, 1951.
199. Cyril Hare, Tragedy at Law. Project Gutenberg, 1942.
200. Cyril Hare, Tenant for Death. Project Gutenberg, 1937.
201. Cyril Hare, Suicide Excepted. Project Gutenberg, 1939.
202. Cyril Hare, With A Bare Bodkin. Project Gutenberg, 1946.
203. Cyril Hare, When the Wind Blows. Project Gutenberg, 1949.
204. Cyril Hare, He Should Have Died Hereafter. Project Gutenberg, 1958.
205. Cyril Hare, That Yew Tree's Shade. Project Gutenberg, 1954.

comments

Gym log, Wednesday 17th October 2018

2018-10-18T11:33:14Z

Benchpress: 2x5 at 60kg, 3x5 at 65kg, 1x5 at 60kg
Squats: 5x5 at 95kg
Bent-over row: 5x5 at 30kg
Deadlift: 3x8 at 45kg
Overhead press: 1x8 at 20kg, 2x7 at 20kg
Lat raise: 3x10 at 7.5kg/arm

Cycling: 2km in 05:35.

I remembered that I went to the gym on Monday but I can't remember anything else about that day. Apparently stress really does interfere with short-term memory.

comments

Gym log, Monday 15th October 2018

2018-10-15T14:48:11Z

Benchpress: 6x5 at 60kg
Squats: 5x5 at 95kg
Bent-over row: 5x5 at 30kg
Deadlift: 3x8 at 40kg
Lat raise: 3x10 at 7kg/arm
Overhead press: 3x7 at 20kg

Exercise bike: 5km in 12:38

comments

Gym log, Friday 5th Oct 2018

2018-10-05T19:46:49Z

Weigh-in: 110kg approx.

Benchpress: 3x5 at 55kg.
Squats: 5x5 at 90kg
Bent-over row: 3x5 at 35kg
Deadlift: 3x5 at 35kg
Leg lifts: 3x5
Back extensions: 3x5
Lat raise: 4x10 at 6kg/arm
Bicep curl: 3x10 at 7kg/arm

Treadmill intervals: 0.3km at 10kph between BE and LR; 0.25km at 10kph between LR and BC.

Cycling: 1km in 02:32

Rowing: 2km in 11:30.

comments

Gym log, Thursday 4th Oct 2018

2018-10-04T20:46:21Z

Benchpress: 1x5 at 60kg, 3x5 at 65kg, 1x5 at 70kg, 1x5 at 50kg.
Bent-over row: 5x5 at 30kg
Deadlift: 5x5 at 30kg
Lat raise: 4x10 at 5kg/arm
Leg lifts: 3x8

Cycling: 5km in 12:05.
Running: 0.25km in 01:50.

comments

Gym log, Wednesday 3rd Oct 2018

2018-10-03T20:57:32Z

Benchpress: 1x5 at 60kg, 1x3 at 80kg, 1x2 at 85kg, attempt at 90kg, 1x2 at 80kg, 2x5 at 60kg, 2x5 at 55kg.
Squats: 1x5 at 90kg, 4x5 at 95kg
Bent-over row: 5x5 at 30kg
Overhead press: 4x5 at 20kg
Lat raise: 4x10 at 7kg/arm
Bicep curl: 3x10 at 7kg/arm

Treadmill: two intervals of 0.25km between OHP and LR, and LR and BC, for 0.5km total. Approx 10kph.
Bike machine: 5km in 14:00
Rowing machine: 2km in 12:00
Bike machine: 12 minutes at minimum 80rpm, km not measured.

comments

Books 2018: log, belated, October

2018-10-01T17:15:53Z

Books 2018: 111-167

I may have missed one or two. Such things have been known to happen.

111. Adrian Tchaikovsky, Redemption's Blade. Solaris, 2018.
112. Justina Robson, Salvation's Fire. Solaris, 2018.
113. Sean Grigsby, Daughters of Forgotten Light. Angry Robot, 2018.
114. Jaine Fenn, Hidden Sun. Angry Robot, 2018.
115. Corey J. White, Static Ruin. Tor.com Publishing, 2018.
116. Cynthia Ward, The Adventure of the Dux Bellorum. Aqueduct Press, 2018.
117. D.B. Jackson, Time's Children. Angry Robot, 2018.
118. Amy Rose Capetta, The Brilliant Death. Viking, 2018.
119. Natasha Ngan, Girls of Paper and Fire. Jimmy Patterson Presents, 2018.
120. Aliette de Bodard, In the Vanishers' Palace. JABerwocky Literary Agency Inc, 2018.
121. Nicky Drayden, Temper. Harper Voyager, 2018.
122. Sarah Henning, Sea Witch. Harper Collins, 2018.
123. Drew Williams, The Stars Now Unclaimed. Tor, 2018.
124. Karl Schroeder, The Million. Tor.com Publishing, 2018.
125. Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol. Tor.com Publishing, 2018.
126. Claire Coleman, Terra Nullius. Small Beer, 2018.
127. Tansy Rayner Roberts & Rivqa Rafael, Mother of Invention. Twelfth Planet, 2018.
128. Malka Older, State Tectonics. Tor.com Publishing, 2018.
129. Tade Thompson, Rosewater. Orbit, 2018.
130. Rena Rossner, The Sisters of the Winter Wood. Orbit, 2018.
131. Kat Howard, A Cathedral of Myth and Bone. Saga Press, 2018.
132. Mary Robinette Kowal, The Calculating Stars. Tor, 2018.
133. Mary Robinette Kowal, The Fated Sky. Tor, 2018.
134. Carrie Vaughn, The Wild Dead. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (JJA), 2018.
135. Tanya Huff, The Privilege of Peace. DAW, 2018.
136. MCA Hogarth, Sword of the Alliance. Self-pub, 2018.
137. Lena Wilson, Accelerants. Book Smugglers, 2018.
138. Juliet Kemp, A Glimmer of Silver. Book Smugglers, 2018.
139. Missouri Vaun, Proxima Five. Bold Strokes Books, 2018.
140. Barbara Ann Wright, The Tattered Lands. Bold Strokes Books, 2018.
141. Jane Fletcher, Isle of Broken Years. Bold Strokes Books, 2018.
142. David Weber, At the Sign of Triumph. Tor, 2017.
143. David Weber, Uncompromising Honor. Baen Books, 2018.
144. Catherine Asaro, The Bronze Skies. Baen Books, 2017.
145. Lois McMaster Bujold, Mira's Last Dance. Subterranean Press, 2018.
146. Elizabeth Tammi, Outrun the Wind. Flux, 2018.
147. Stephanie Ahn, Deadline. Self-pub, 2018.
148. Cori McCarthy, The Color of Rain. Epub, [date].
149. Julia Ember, The Seafarer's Kiss. Epub, 2017.
150. Julia Ember, The Navigator's Touch. Epub, 2018.
151. Leigh Richards, Califia's Daughters. Epub, 2002 [I think].
152. Laurie R. King, Mary's War. Alison & Busby, [date].
153. Laurie R. King, The Murder of Mary Russell. Alison & Busby, 2017.
154. Laurie R. King, Lockdown. Alison & Busby, 2017.
155. Laurie R. King, Night Work. Epub.
156. Laurie R. King, The Art of Detection. Epub.
157. Martha Wells, Exit Strategy. Tor.com Publishing, 2018.
158. R.E. Stearns, Mutiny at Vesta. Saga Press, 2018.
159. S.L. Huang, Zero Sum Game. Tor, 2018.
160. K.B. Wagers, There Before the Chaos. Orbit, 2018.
161. K. Arsenault Rivera, The Phoenix Empress. Tor, 2018.
162. Molly Tanzer, Creatures of Want and Ruin. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (JJA), 2018.
163. Ellen Goodlett, Rule. Little, Brown, 2018.

nonfiction

164. Mark Molesky, This Gulf of Fire: The Great Lisbon Earthquake, or Apocalypse in the Age of Science and Reason. Vintage, 2016.
165. Jeffrey H. Jackson, Paris Under Water: How the City of Light Survived the Great Flood of 1910. St. Martin's Griffin, 2011.
166. Laura M. MacDonald, Curse of the Narrows. Bloomsbury, 2006.
167. Judith M. Bennett and Amy M. Froide, editors, Singlewomen in the European Past, 1250-1800. University of Pennsylvania Press, 1998.

comments

Gym log, Wednesday 26th September 2018

2018-09-27T10:44:55Z

Benchpress: 1x5 at 65kg, 4x5 at 70kg, 1x4 at 70kg, 2x5 at 50kg
Squats: 5x5 at 90kg
Bent-over row: 5x5 at 20kg
Overhead press: 4x5 at 20kg
Lat raise: 3x10 at 7kg/arm

Exercise bike: 05:00 cooldown.

comments