Are YOU the MAN OF THE HOUSE?
Jul. 23rd, 2014 05:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hawkwing_lbHere is a thing that happened today, and rather spoiled my happy I-have-swum-the-sun-is-shining pleasure at the world.
Three in the afternoon. Doorbell rings. It is a man from the gas company. "Hello," says I.
"Is your mum or dad there?" says he.
I make the WTF face and nobly refrain from asking how fucking old does he think I am. "Can I help you?" says I. ("Can I help you?" is code for TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT OKAY. I thought everyone knew this.)
"Are you the Man of the House?" says he.
WTF says my face again. With great restraint, I repeat: "Can I help you?"
"But are you the MAN OF THE HOUSE?" he says again.
At this point, I confess, I lost my temper. "Dude, do I look like a guy? GO AWAY." (I have never said "Dude" out loud before.) Closed the door, and retired to seethe, and to recount this funny story to the internets.
Moral of the story: if you have short hair and a t-shirt and shorts, and aren't performing traditional femininity, at least one of Bord Gáis's travelling doorsteppers will go straight to TEENAGER ALERT and/or MAN ALERT.
I'm tempted to write a complaint. ARE YOU THE MAN OF THE HOUSE?
No. THERE ARE NO MEN IN THIS HOUSE. BECAUSE WE ARE AMAZONS. AND MAN-EATING FEMINISTS...
Actually, because it is possible to be short-haired and female-ish. And it is also possible to live in houses without men, it's a thing that happens sometimes, STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.
Three in the afternoon. Doorbell rings. It is a man from the gas company. "Hello," says I.
"Is your mum or dad there?" says he.
I make the WTF face and nobly refrain from asking how fucking old does he think I am. "Can I help you?" says I. ("Can I help you?" is code for TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT OKAY. I thought everyone knew this.)
"Are you the Man of the House?" says he.
WTF says my face again. With great restraint, I repeat: "Can I help you?"
"But are you the MAN OF THE HOUSE?" he says again.
At this point, I confess, I lost my temper. "Dude, do I look like a guy? GO AWAY." (I have never said "Dude" out loud before.) Closed the door, and retired to seethe, and to recount this funny story to the internets.
Moral of the story: if you have short hair and a t-shirt and shorts, and aren't performing traditional femininity, at least one of Bord Gáis's travelling doorsteppers will go straight to TEENAGER ALERT and/or MAN ALERT.
I'm tempted to write a complaint. ARE YOU THE MAN OF THE HOUSE?
No. THERE ARE NO MEN IN THIS HOUSE. BECAUSE WE ARE AMAZONS. AND MAN-EATING FEMINISTS...
Actually, because it is possible to be short-haired and female-ish. And it is also possible to live in houses without men, it's a thing that happens sometimes, STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.
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no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 05:12 pm (UTC)Poem, please. (Gas company-o-machy?)
no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 06:00 pm (UTC)It's a man who asks, clipboard
tight against his chest, grey-haired
halfway to sneering.
Was I a man once,
or ever? Does it matter?
If I were Iphis
I might answer.
But there are houses without men
and men without houses: today
I'm a woman. Perhaps today
ἀντιάνειρα and angry -
in this house there are no men
we have burnt off a breast apiece
and sworn to live apart like lovers
like sisters, fuck only for daughters
kill our sons - heartless, spouseless
mares without bridles, relentless
children of man-slaying War.
Is there a man of the house?
We eat men like you
- sweaty-shirted, disrespect in your face -
we women without men.
Yes. That's right. Run.
Poem, please. (Gas company-o-machy?)
Does that perhaps gratify your desire? *g*
no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 06:02 pm (UTC)HOLY FUCK SEND THAT SOMEWHERE STAT.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 06:08 pm (UTC)...You're not reading for SH this month, are you? Because I'd feel a bit weird dropping it right into your inbox after the ALL CAPS. ;)
no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 06:10 pm (UTC)Hah. Sadly, no; I'd take it if I were!
(Yay!)
no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 06:14 pm (UTC)*sends it out into the world anyway*
no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 05:54 pm (UTC)a) employs very cheaply made artificial intelligences
b) trains said AIs to interact with the public by showing them every sitcom ever made in the 1950s.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-23 06:01 pm (UTC)