between the rock and the cold, cold sea

On Wednesday, I got myself a proper fitness program, thanks to one of the lovely staff at the college gym. This new program involves three sessions a week: one pure cardio, one pure resistance, and one mixed.

I started today, with the mixed session. Running, benchpress, lunges, leg press, cycling.

It's tough. The cardio, especially: I've lost more stamina than I have strength. (I can still bench 55kg in four sets of six reps, and my starting leg press is four sets of ten reps at 52kg, so there.) But I will get to a place where I can do better, eventually.

One of the Classics postgrads had her PhD commencements today. So after I picked up some books in the library, I got some soup and ate it on the steps of the chapel (cold November sunlight glittering above the buildings) while waiting for the commencements folks to process out so I could congratulate her... at least, until a security guard came to move us along from the terminus of the procession. It was great to see her and her family so happy.

Of course, then I had to spend some hours reading for research, and then bottom dropped out of my stamina at 1730 so that instead of staying to go out for drinks I had to come home and crash by the fire, but still. Mostly a good day.

6km in 15:00, exercise bike. 3x12 reps @40kg, benchpress. 3x10, back extensions. 3x12 reps @ 40kg, seated row. 3x8 reps @18kg, bicep curl. Treadmill, intervals, 3.2km in 26:00.

Mass: 100.3-101.3kg. (The gym scales seems rather labile.)

---

Greek accomplished. New thesis chapter file document opened. I suspect I need to make an outline for What Goes Here. Unexpected socialising with a friend-like person who has just submitted her thesis.

Tonight the train has internet. The future, can has?

Plato Greek, review for Tor.com, Callimachus Greek, cannibalising of old presentation for instant!progress on the thesis, gym.

1.38 miles in 15:00, treadmill. 11km in 30:00, exercise bike. Benchpress 1x8 at 35kg, 3x5 at 40kg (both including bar), bicep curl 2x5 at 24kg, 1x5 at 16kg. Some other mucking about with free weights. Very short cool-down row.

Mass: between 101.2 and 102kg.

Perhaps I am fit enough to contemplate climbing again without much terror. We shall see. (Starting maybe Sunday week, I think. I will have a desk on campus by then.)

Having not slept Sunday night, and proceeded to be social and go to the gym on yesterday, I actually slept for twelve hours last night. Much to my relief.

I'm not sure that this counts as waking refreshed, but hey.

So now I guess I should go do some thesis-ising. Since I have about seven weeks to write 14K, I should get my lazy arse in some kind of gear already.

I'm heading off very very early tomorrow morning to Greece.

There are a number of things I'm worried about, and a number of things I have to do while I'm there. For my own research, I'm trying to get permission to look at archives from the EFA, and from the Archaeological Society as well. (Advice, dear internets, on convincing the nice Greek people to let me look at their archaeological reports?)

The other thing I absolutely must do is accomplish what my postgrad handbook instructs me to do by mid-April:

1. A draft chapter of between 8,000 and 10,000 words. This chapter should display the
levels of research, critical analysis and originality commensurate with research at
doctoral level. It should not merely be a general account of the topic, nor an
introduction.

2. A detailed plan of work for the following year. This research plan should be
approximately 1,000 words long.

#1 rather terrifies me. Critical analysis! Originality! Eeeep!

(Yes, I knew coming in I need to accomplish this. It doesn't make it any less terrifying in practice.)

Also, by Wednesday night, I need to revise my FAoD yet again.

So. If I am screamy and scattered? Be a little patient with me.

Now, I'm going to spend the next four hours playing Skyrim, since it's the last chance I'll get.

Funding Application of DOOM is drafted and sent to supervisor.

All 2,600 words of pain and 22.5 hours of work of it.

I go make the thud and play videogames for a while now.

Dear world: thank you for not kicking me in the teeth.

I'm feeling surprisingly all right with the world, thanks to a set of fortunate meetings, circumstances, and friends. My good friend M. has the good news of a job in London, and on Friday night there was climbing and pizza with him and his girlfriend. I'll miss him, but I'd forgotten how much I enjoy company. The world seems a lot better in the company of friends.

A good weekend, with plenty of reading and a little bit of work. Despite my usual not-sleeping trick, I managed to roll out of bed in time to go to class today. Success! Followed by photocopying of my interlibrary loans (and dear god I hate photocopying archaeological reports, because they're so awkwardly large), and lunch with another friend, J. Who is brilliant and smart and makes me feel as though I might be slightly smart, too.

After which I came home and napped for three hours. Napping is an astonishingly pleasant way to spend the afternoon, in case you were wondering.

And in further good news, there is a tiny flicker of hope on the horizon when it comes to money matters. On the horizon, not here, and tiny, rather than large - but it's nice to have even a little hope right now.

Draft to-do list:


Funding/Money

Travel report for Trinity Trust Written: must submit.
Travel report for IIHSA bursary fund Drafted: get supervisor's comments and submit
Invoice Tor.com
USA tax paperwork
Apply for Graduate Office Disabilities note-taker etc work. Sent.


Books, reviews, blogging

Fix review of Tempering of Men for SH - withdrawn: brain no worky, and I'm not putting in another two hours' work on edits for something I have no guarrantee of being paid for.
Blog books read
Bring catalogue up to date
Plan and draft posts on Barbara Hambly for Tor.com - circa four, I think.
Reviews owed by end Oct/start Nov: Weber ABF, Pierce Mastiff, McDevitt, Wooding Jackal.
Decide on books to review for next two quarters of Ideomancer and request review copies. Done.

College/misc

Acquire locker - Monday
Join Climbers, Judo clubs, Arch Soc.
Acquire network access on campus
Return to exercise programme An auspicious beginning.


Friends/social

Lunch - Monday Cancelled
A's engagement party - Monday, evening Stayed home sick.
Discover who remains in country, who has returned to country, and who has sailed for Byzantium, and see who feels like semi-regular meets
Find climbing partner
Contact M, find out if has returned from Far California email sent.


College/thesis

Find out about Greek government scholarship thingy
Sort notes
List books for inter-library loan (for Nov/Dec)
Write chapter/10K words - end Oct.
Investigate IIHSA internship
Ancient Greek

---

I'm sure I'm forgetting things. However, this will do as a start.

My funding application has been turned down.

I knew it was going to happen - it was long odds to start with - but I couldn't stop myself hoping. Now that hope is gone, I should start dealing with the reality of having Zero Income next year. (The government is still good for my fees, at least until next year, I hope.)

But first, I think I'm going to go scream in frustration and cry for a bit.

There I was in the gym last week, putting in a wee bit of a run, when one of the gym staff walks up to me. Do I want, she asks, to sign up for this little event they're holding next Monday, a 'Try-athlon' for beginners?

"Sure," says I, because I'm always game for a challenge. Quite often I'll flame out halfway through, but I'm game. So I signed my name to the list, and went away.

That's the reason I arrived at the gym this afternoon at 1500 hrs, with a bottle full of water and limbs full of trepidition. The beginners' course consisted of a 10K cycle, a 2K row, and a 3K run: me, I run and row fairly regular, but if I cycle ten minutes twice a week, that's a very rare week.

Reader, I tell you true: it was hard.

There were four of us at 1500. Me, and three guys who looked a lot fitter than I feel.

The cycle wasn't so bad, actually, although I consider it a fortunate thing that the nice gym people provided us with free Lucozade. (And a sweat towel each.) Nice gym people. Kind gym people. I completed my 10K cycle inside forty minutes, and thought I was doing fine.

So I was, for a little while. The 2K row, I managed inside ten minutes. Rowing is normally fine with me, but by this point I was starting to have trouble keeping my rhythm.

Then I stood up to move on to the treadmill.

My legs. Oh, my legs. They felt like they were made of wibbly-wobbly-wonder; like custard, or sloppy jelly. I staggered onto that treadmill.

The run... wasn't, really. Normally I can kick out a ten-minute mile with reasonable ease. I'm not very consistent at the two-mile mark, but a time inside twenty-four minutes is usually doable.

Not today, though. Today, I was a walker. I managed my 3K - approximately 1.9 miles, rounded up - but it took me twenty-six minutes and counting. The world's most annoying stitch kept materialising in my side. As soon as I got my speed up, it would come back. And my legs would go all floppy-wobbly.

I'm glad swimming was not a part of this wee event. I hate pool swimming, and I'm a much less competent swimmer than a rower. I would be in considerably more pain this evening if we had been moving through water. And I hurt a lot right now.

Despite what has to be a whole bucketload of exercise endorphins.

But I'd do it again. In fact, I intend to do it again. I think I could manage to do that kind of thing about once a week, even if I also climb and do a bit of whichever martial art is handiest, if I set aside a two-hour block of time to do it in.

We'll see if I actually do.

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This counts as a productive day, because I also visited the library and did an hour's concentrated note-taking. I'm a bit too wasted to take more notes now, though.