hawkwing_lb | (no subject) (Reply)

I've been away for a while. Trying to get my headed sorted. That's not as easy as it used to be.

I'm trying to look at my future, and it's being unpleasantly reluctant to meet my eyes.

This autumn, I go to college. Whatever else happens, it seems that's set. I will study, on the balance of probabilities, ancient history. On the balance of probabilities, I will enjoy the course.

But I'm one of those people who love learning for learning's sake, fascinated with everything from thermonuclear reactions to the significance of the torc in ancient Celtic society. I want to learn everything (the problem with trying to learn about everything is that you end up knowing a little about a lot of things, and a lot about - not much). I want to know more, much more!

At the other end of the scales, I'm also one of those people who want to Do Good Things and Make A Difference. Does going to college serve that end? Probably. Is Doing Good Things compatible with having a career that will keep me in the comfort that I'd like to be accustomed to? Probably not.

And - one of my hopes for the future is to join the army as an officer cadet. Feeling as I do that those who partake of the privileges of citizenship have a duty to defend them. Does that come under Making A Difference?

Duty's one of those words observed more in the breach than in the practice, I think, these days.

And, of course, I want to Write. And, eventually, be a Published Writer (of SF/fantasy, just in case there's anyone out there who wonders). The holy grail of this pursuit seems to me to be a minimum of 1,000 words a day. Whether those words be readable or crap. And I don't seem to be able to achieve that right now, much less with a fuller schedule than my current very loose one.

Bah, who cares. Enough moaning.

In addition to spending much time (too much time) thinking about my future, I'm considering Garth Nix and JK Rowling, and why I feel Sabriel, Lirael and Abhorsen are superior in quality to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I read them over the same weekend, and now I feel the need to devote time to considering why Sabriel et al feel more... fully realised, I think is the phrase I'm looking for, than Harry Potter.

I must think more. Perhaps I'll even write up my conclusions.