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To: All Writers of Advertising Copy, Everywhere, But with Particular Attention to Those Who Have Written the Promotional Leaflets for the New Local Pharmacy
From: A Pissed-Off User of Proper English
Subject: The Misuse of Apostrophes and Commas
Dear Person who is in charge of writing advertising copy,
I write with regret to inform you that until you have correctly mastered the uses of the common-or-garden apostrophe (or employed someone who possesses the aforesaid skill to proofread your copy), I will not be availing of your undoubtedly excellent offers and services.
The misuse of the apostrophe - its complete absence from the title "McCartans Pharmacy", for example; "Our pharmacist's can"; its absence from the phrase "Kids Colouring Competition" - which, although it must surely be counted as the worst of your sins against the grammar of the English language, is not the only one that one may divine from your promotional copy. The sentence, "JUST ASK US" lacks a full stop. "We can inform you in detail, utterly unnecessary comma about..." "We can help make your prescription, utterly unnecessary comma #2 More Affordable.! full stop. exclamation mark!"
A grammarian's soul - nay, the soul of a writer of functional English - cringes at the sight!
"Advise you of generic drugs available that can save you money on your medical bill."
*cringes and froths at the mouth*
This is not a grammatical issue. This is an issue of good sense. Many - nay, most - responsible doctors have good reasons for prescribing certain medicines. Is this pharmacy saying that they are prepared to give advice on alternatives? To advise the patient to take a medication other than the one prescribed?
I am wounded by the level to which this pharmacy's copywriters are prepared to sink.
And that does not address the stupidity inherent in ending one's promo sheet with the phrase, "We value your business, Thank you"
Aside from the repeat abuse of the defenceless comma, the inappropriacy of the second capital letter, and the lack of a full stop or indeed of any other mark indicating the conclusion of a sentence, it is not exactly appropriate to thank someone for something they haven't given you yet. It indicates an undignified level of sycophancy, and, one might add, desperation.
And no, I am not about to address the design issues arising in the leaflet, or the use of ellipses.
Such egregarious (and elementary) errors suggest a level of carelessness that is unbecoming in any professional enterprise. Suffice it to say that you may not expect my custom at any point in the near, or even far, future. You may not expect my custom at all.
Yours sincerely,
Pissed Off English User.
From: A Pissed-Off User of Proper English
Subject: The Misuse of Apostrophes and Commas
Dear Person who is in charge of writing advertising copy,
I write with regret to inform you that until you have correctly mastered the uses of the common-or-garden apostrophe (or employed someone who possesses the aforesaid skill to proofread your copy), I will not be availing of your undoubtedly excellent offers and services.
The misuse of the apostrophe - its complete absence from the title "McCartans Pharmacy", for example; "Our pharmacist's can"; its absence from the phrase "Kids Colouring Competition" - which, although it must surely be counted as the worst of your sins against the grammar of the English language, is not the only one that one may divine from your promotional copy. The sentence, "JUST ASK US" lacks a full stop. "We can inform you in detail, utterly unnecessary comma about..." "We can help make your prescription, utterly unnecessary comma #2 More Affordable.! full stop. exclamation mark!"
A grammarian's soul - nay, the soul of a writer of functional English - cringes at the sight!
"Advise you of generic drugs available that can save you money on your medical bill."
*cringes and froths at the mouth*
This is not a grammatical issue. This is an issue of good sense. Many - nay, most - responsible doctors have good reasons for prescribing certain medicines. Is this pharmacy saying that they are prepared to give advice on alternatives? To advise the patient to take a medication other than the one prescribed?
I am wounded by the level to which this pharmacy's copywriters are prepared to sink.
And that does not address the stupidity inherent in ending one's promo sheet with the phrase, "We value your business, Thank you"
Aside from the repeat abuse of the defenceless comma, the inappropriacy of the second capital letter, and the lack of a full stop or indeed of any other mark indicating the conclusion of a sentence, it is not exactly appropriate to thank someone for something they haven't given you yet. It indicates an undignified level of sycophancy, and, one might add, desperation.
And no, I am not about to address the design issues arising in the leaflet, or the use of ellipses.
Such egregarious (and elementary) errors suggest a level of carelessness that is unbecoming in any professional enterprise. Suffice it to say that you may not expect my custom at any point in the near, or even far, future. You may not expect my custom at all.
Yours sincerely,
Pissed Off English User.
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