Tonight we light the fires

Brain chemistry is a very odd thing, indeed.

Last night I was on edge. This morning I woke up with the feeling that all the joy and purpose had been drained out of my body overnight, and stress, tension, and muscle-tightness pumped in as a replacement.

It's not so bad. I'm blowing off exercise and craving chocolate and sugar, but right now it's not at the stage of Worthless human! Jump off a cliff!, which is a relief. It is at the stage where seeking out other humans and engaging in conversation more complex than, "Fine sunny day we're having," "Bit chilly though," "Yep," is a practical impossibility.

On the up side, I'm not concentration-funky and finding it hard to work on the thesis. (I'm basically just copying my notes, so that does not take the world's greatest amount of concentration.) On the down side, it is hard to believe it will ever either be good, finished, or worthwhile.

Also a down side: inability to write fiction. But I've been having that for the last three years, mostly.