State of me
Feb. 5th, 2014 05:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hawkwing_lbStill alive. A lot of anxiety, particularly around communicating with people. I nearly had a panic attack on the way to the gym yesterday, for no good reason. A lot of tiredness, lethargy, DNW: a lot of empty, scraping feelings when it comes to brain.
I'm pretty solidly convinced this is a long depressive episode, which doesn't actually help with fixing it: the last time I felt this way for this long it took three months off on a rest cure before I started to feel like a thinking human being again. Still, all I have to do is hold on a little longer. One day at a time, right?
We're probably telling the family to sod off with their funeral bill, but we're waiting on word from a financial institution before making a definitive decision. Financial stresses, even though we've been (and still are) really lucky, are deeply unfun. Especially since the parent's surgeon has updated her on her prospects, and it looks like July is a more likely date for return to work than April.
This would be less terrifying if my scholarship didn't run out in September. Still, one day at a time, right? Panic when I get to September, if I get to September without committing murder.
I'm pretty solidly convinced this is a long depressive episode, which doesn't actually help with fixing it: the last time I felt this way for this long it took three months off on a rest cure before I started to feel like a thinking human being again. Still, all I have to do is hold on a little longer. One day at a time, right?
We're probably telling the family to sod off with their funeral bill, but we're waiting on word from a financial institution before making a definitive decision. Financial stresses, even though we've been (and still are) really lucky, are deeply unfun. Especially since the parent's surgeon has updated her on her prospects, and it looks like July is a more likely date for return to work than April.
This would be less terrifying if my scholarship didn't run out in September. Still, one day at a time, right? Panic when I get to September, if I get to September without committing murder.
