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and the light is hard to find
Apr. 21st, 2015 04:17 pmWhen I went out to do my errands before noon, the world seemed saturated in light. High sun, blue heavens, a heat-hazy mist on the horizon. The tide rising towards full, with a seal bobbing its head at the mouth of the harbour and the water clear and millpond-still, taking a milky hue out around the headland. Chilly to the feet when I went to paddle, but less so than last week - so I hurried through my errands and hastened home for my swimming things.
The Irish Sea is still officially fucking cold. But rather less so than last week: the submersion less shocking, and I proved actually able to swim for a thirty-count rather than a ten-count. Shocking cold. Feel capillaries contracting. Headrush. Wow.
My skin tingled all over for an hour after I dried off and got dressed again. Now I suppose I should do something that counts as real work, perhaps...
I haven't been very talkative here for a while. Mostly because when I feel like talking it is rarely about things I feel comfortable talking about publically, anymore: it's very weird, but I'm more conscious of how much of my self-presentation is - has to be - mediated through various personas now. And since I handed in my thesis (viva date in June! Eek!) I've been engaged in several not-exactly-comfortable processes of self-discovery/self-realisation: I'm not entirely certain of who I am and how I want to present myself - as opposed to my work - to the world these days.
That's taking up quite a bit of my thinking space. And, well. Work and job applications and worry over the future: they take up the rest.
The Irish Sea is still officially fucking cold. But rather less so than last week: the submersion less shocking, and I proved actually able to swim for a thirty-count rather than a ten-count. Shocking cold. Feel capillaries contracting. Headrush. Wow.
My skin tingled all over for an hour after I dried off and got dressed again. Now I suppose I should do something that counts as real work, perhaps...
I haven't been very talkative here for a while. Mostly because when I feel like talking it is rarely about things I feel comfortable talking about publically, anymore: it's very weird, but I'm more conscious of how much of my self-presentation is - has to be - mediated through various personas now. And since I handed in my thesis (viva date in June! Eek!) I've been engaged in several not-exactly-comfortable processes of self-discovery/self-realisation: I'm not entirely certain of who I am and how I want to present myself - as opposed to my work - to the world these days.
That's taking up quite a bit of my thinking space. And, well. Work and job applications and worry over the future: they take up the rest.
