State of me update

[hawkwing_lb]

My thesis is all-but-done. I'm awaiting my supervisor's final-final comments and her blessing to submit, and I hope to have that in hand by the end of next week - which is to say, the end of the month.

Physically, I'm pretty run down. I've just come off a fairly lingering chest infection and an autumn-winter of sickness after sickness, with an ankle ligament problem complicating all my other issues. The ankle ligament problem seems to be improving - slowly - although I suspect it'll be another six months before I can run on it, if I don't throw myself into any setbacks.

Mentally, emotionally? If I'm not completely burned out, I'm right next door. I hate everything and everything is difficult, and I have a difficult time focusing enough to read anything with a solid narrative through-line or watch anything at all. I need to wrap up the review I owe by Friday and then probably write in to everyone else to whom I owe things that I'm broken and that I won't be able to hand in work for them until I'm fixed.

Which is a damn shame because in addition to being broken, I'm also broke. But the sooner I take a break the quicker I'll get back on the damn horse.

Comments

[anne]

SO PROUD.

[hawkwing_lb]

Not quite there yet. BUT NEARLY OH GOD SO CLOSE.

[slhuang.livejournal.com]

*support* (and huge congratulations on the thesis!)

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

It's not done yet. Getting closer by inches, though.

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

Much love. Good work. And take your time. <3

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

<3

I feel like I have run out of time to take. This is the stage of done where MAKE IT GO AWAY is the whole of my world. *g*

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

Oh -- I meant with the Ideo reviews and commitments et al. Sorry. It helps when I use all the words. *g*

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

It would probably also help if I didn't have a one-track mind!

I've sent Claire a thing for the next issue. But I should be unbroken before three months are up, I hope. *g*

Are you doing okay lately yourself?

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

Had a bit of a dip this past few weeks: A lot of fights being brought to me when I don't have the wherewithal to have fights.

I am thinking a great deal, right now, about how I use myself as a resource. When I try to push through; how I take care of myself or don't, compared to how I try to take care of other people. Balance of effort. Sustainability, I guess. P. has pointed out that I'm not frequently kind to myself, and in ways that are ultimately sabotaging when I flame out and burn out. I'm pretty sure there is a better way to do this thing. It just needs some consideration.

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I think you are an amazing person, and you deserve your own kindness, too.

[pwilkinson.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on being (nearly) there - and I hope that your supervisor's response is entirely favourable.

And then rest and relax for a few weeks - you obviously need (and deserve) some downtime.

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[hrj.livejournal.com]

I agree: this is the point where you need to focus solely on dragging the thesis kicking and screaming to the finish line and set everything else except for self-care aside. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make the money thing all better.

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

I just need to hold out a little while longer. Just a little while. :)

[hrj.livejournal.com]

It occurs to me that there's this odd contradiction to the abstract value of a graduate degree. People say, "Well, it demonstrates to the world that you're capable of doing something on the scale of This Thing." But all you can think is, "I never fucking want to do anything like that ever again in my life."

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

Truer words were ne'er spoke.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathy; I remember this stage well. And if you happen to see me on chat, do by all means say hi if it would help.

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Writing up is one of the hardest things there is, and it does take a lot out of you. Be kind to yourself and take care.

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

Thanks.