oh no, not me
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hawkwing_lbSometimes I suspect growing into one's own skin is a long list of compromises, of deciding which bits of yourself you can keep and which bits you have to let go.
So I'm young and naive and stupid more than every once in a while. But I think I might be starting to believe I'm going to make it. That it's okay, even necessary, to fall down every once in a while, as long as I get back up again afterwards.
That's kinda okay. Because I might, at last, actually be learning to trust myself again.
I have my end of year examination timetables. All on campus, nothing before May 24, thanks be, and at least one day recovery time between all five of them.
And thanks to having done some of the Schols, I at least have something approaching optimism about them.
Of the three things I wanted to get done-ish this weekend, I managed only one. But that's okay, too. I have sufficient, if not abundant, time, and I am practising not spazzing about these things.
I managed a run the day before yesterday, and today as well. It is not really fair to judge me, now, by the standards of me, three years ago.
That said? In comparison, today I suck. Really.
Once I get these essays cleared up (I say that like they're a disease, and you know, they really are), I should probably think about running every day. Bring shorts and a t-shirt, those days when I'm not hitting the gym, and see if I can manage some speed for five minutes on the treadmill, or a fast circuit of the cricket pitch.
We'll see. I need to get these assignments cleared up first, and go about getting myself a climbing partner, and see if my karate gumshield isn't too plaguey to scald and use again.
Many things to do. And I think I can do them, too.
So I'm young and naive and stupid more than every once in a while. But I think I might be starting to believe I'm going to make it. That it's okay, even necessary, to fall down every once in a while, as long as I get back up again afterwards.
That's kinda okay. Because I might, at last, actually be learning to trust myself again.
I have my end of year examination timetables. All on campus, nothing before May 24, thanks be, and at least one day recovery time between all five of them.
And thanks to having done some of the Schols, I at least have something approaching optimism about them.
Of the three things I wanted to get done-ish this weekend, I managed only one. But that's okay, too. I have sufficient, if not abundant, time, and I am practising not spazzing about these things.
I managed a run the day before yesterday, and today as well. It is not really fair to judge me, now, by the standards of me, three years ago.
That said? In comparison, today I suck. Really.
Once I get these essays cleared up (I say that like they're a disease, and you know, they really are), I should probably think about running every day. Bring shorts and a t-shirt, those days when I'm not hitting the gym, and see if I can manage some speed for five minutes on the treadmill, or a fast circuit of the cricket pitch.
We'll see. I need to get these assignments cleared up first, and go about getting myself a climbing partner, and see if my karate gumshield isn't too plaguey to scald and use again.
Many things to do. And I think I can do them, too.
