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The days after December 25th are doldrum days, of a kind: the still calm sameness of year's ending. Days filled up with thoughts of all the things I haven't done, all the things I'm still to do, and time runs out in a hand of days like sand in the glass.
How time can be still and calm and yet fleeting, I don't know. Yet it is.
2011 has been a strange year. You'd think we'd have more time, but this is all the time we have.
The prospect of the new year makes me consider my thesis, and the fact that I still don't know what the hell I'm doing with it. I like learning, but writing it up seems like marking time. I still don't understand half of what I need to know, and the words are scratches in the dark.
The pain is why we do it, as climbers of my acquaintance have been known to say.
Even if I've no idea what I might be able to do afterwards.
I discovered today that I am lonely.
It ought to be harder for an introvert to be lonely. You'd think so, or at least I would. But it struck me today how many of the people I care about live so very far away. Most of them, by now. So, dear friends: take care of yourselves, k?
(And maybe some of you will go to WFC Brighton in 2013, and I can look forward to seeing people again? Chance would, as they say, be a fine thing.)
How time can be still and calm and yet fleeting, I don't know. Yet it is.
2011 has been a strange year. You'd think we'd have more time, but this is all the time we have.
The prospect of the new year makes me consider my thesis, and the fact that I still don't know what the hell I'm doing with it. I like learning, but writing it up seems like marking time. I still don't understand half of what I need to know, and the words are scratches in the dark.
The pain is why we do it, as climbers of my acquaintance have been known to say.
Even if I've no idea what I might be able to do afterwards.
I discovered today that I am lonely.
It ought to be harder for an introvert to be lonely. You'd think so, or at least I would. But it struck me today how many of the people I care about live so very far away. Most of them, by now. So, dear friends: take care of yourselves, k?
(And maybe some of you will go to WFC Brighton in 2013, and I can look forward to seeing people again? Chance would, as they say, be a fine thing.)
