between the rock and the cold, cold sea

I give you a recipe.

Instructions for the assembly of one (1) cream sponge cake

Required:

eggs
white sugar
self-raising flour
vanilla (optional)
a mixing bowl
a sieve
a baking tray
an oven

cream
fruit

The ratio of eggs:sugar:flour is on the order of 1 egg:1-1.5 tablespoons :1-1.5 tablespoons, depending on the size of the egg. It is a scalable recipe. You can make as much or as little as you like, although I find 3 eggs usually fills one or two baking trays.

Crack the eggs into the mixing bowl. Add sugar in the correct ratio. If you are like me, you will loose track of even these simple measurements. So guesstimate.

Take your whisk. It helps to have an electric one. Beat the eggs and the sugar until the resultant mix is well blended, and stiff enough that you can draw a figure eight in it with your finger that will last for 10-15 seconds.

Pause, if you have a sweet tooth, to sample some of the egg/sugar blend. Personally, that's my favourite part of the cooking process.

Add a drop of vanilla essence. A half-teaspoon should do. But feel free to suit yourself.

Take your sieve. Sieve the flour into the mixture in the ratio noted above. After each tablespoon, pause to fold the flour into the mixture. Make sure no air pockets of flour remain. Those things will ruin a good sponge.

Preheat your oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Grease your baking tray(s), preferably with butter. Pour your mixture into your baking tray(s) and put it in the oven. Leave it there for 10-15 minutes. No longer than 20 at most, or you will likely have carbonised sponge.

Some people claim to like that kind of thing.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

While your mixture is baking, wash out your mixing bowl and put about 200mls of cream in it. More, if you really like cream. Add a drop of vanilla essence to the cream. And this time I mean a drop. Using your whisk, beat the cream into submission.

At this point, your sponge(s) should be nearly done. Remove from the oven and place somewhere it (or they) can cool. When cool, apply cream and fruit. I prefer tinned pears (or in summer, strawberries). If you have more than one sponge, you can make a layer cake, with many different things in each layer. Some people add jam. Or chocolate. Some people replace the vanilla with cinnamon. But then, some people are weird.

I like sponge cakes, because they're quick and easy to make.

Anyway. Eat, drink, and be merry. And all the rest of it.