between the rock and the cold, cold sea

The optician tells me I'm no blinder now than I was two years ago.

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Welcome to the future: Say goodbye to the social contract. The state only cares about the desires of big capital.

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It took me two hours and more to write my modern Greek composition homework. On the one hand, I am improving. On the other hand, it's still slow going. On the gripping hand, maybe I should compose more about "What I need in the pharmacy."

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I have some thoughts on stress.

I don't deal with it well. I have this tendency to hide in corners and eat all the things and think stabby thoughts about knives.

This is the month of all the stress. Surprisingly, I'm dealing with it - not brilliantly, and not without moments of needing to hide in corners. But I'm getting things done. I may finally have started to get a hang of this idea that taking care of myself is permissible.

I do want to freak out. (I really want to freak out.) And not freaking out over everything that has to be taken care of is taking up a lot of my emotional and intellectual processing cycles right now.

I feel stupid and afraid, but I am dealing.

Today, I went to karate for the first time in over a year.

Then wasted the afternoon playing "Oblivion".

I don't know what's wrong with me, I really don't. I have no desire to work, or to talk to people. Maybe I need vitamins.