DOOM

[hawkwing_lb]

I'm scattered and all at sea, lately. And OPPRESSED by feelings of DOOM. I walked for three hours tonight to drive away suicidal ideations. I have blisters now. It helped, but not enough. This is the way of things when there are external reasons to have a SAD. (And a DOOM.)

(I'm broke, I'm worried about the future, and I'm operating right up to the red limit of my comfort zone both in terms of Interacting With Other Humans Professionally and in terms of intellectual capability with regard to my thesis and the other commitments which I have taken on. I also remain convinced that being up at that red limit is a sign of my manifest failures as a human being.)

I do not say this to solicit pity. Merely to make note for myself.

Comments

[puddleshark.livejournal.com]

I think you've acquired the right to feel that way. Reviewing dire books = fun (if dangerous fun). Reviewing good books = a joy. Reviewing mediocre books by talented authors = bloody difficult. You may have temporarily exhausted your supplies of intellectual honesty and tact. I wish you interesting and excellent books to review.

'Staring into the abyss' seems to be my default setting too at the moment. But that may be because I'm surrounded by red, white and blue bunting & am the only person in the whole of Britain who does not love the monarchy. I find myself somewhat lonely.

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

God save [us all from] the queen.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I hate the way the mess made by the rich is hurting so many people who are doing normal, useful, interesting things but are expected to pay for the mess. I will be hoping for something good to come up for you very soon, (ideally fully funded with lots of research time).

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

Thanks.