between the rock and the cold, cold sea

It has been a blessedly peaceful day. The which I needed, but did not know.

Sometimes it's passing hard to see the forest for the trees. I never thought, you see, to see life itself as a benediction. I have gained so much this year, in everything that matters. Grown some, I hope, too. And if I have a deeper understanding, and a more abiding fear, of loss, I suspect it should count as a small price.

It's something, to find kindness and friendship unlooked-for. And keep finding it, over and again. I can only hope to be worthy of it.

I have some resolutions for 2009. But I will put them behind a cut, to spare the innocent.

( Read more... )

Tomorrow, there will be essay, from morning til night. But not until tomorrow.

2008 goals 1st (Jan-June) issue.

writing

- get 54,000 words on duellist
- finish 3 short stories

fitness

- run 1.5 miles inside 11 minutes
- improve weight work
(gym twice a week)

- reacquire brown belt standard in karate
(karate twice a week)

- send two different overhang routes
(climb twice a week)

- learn basics of judo
(judo once a week)

academic

- maintain II.1 standard
- attempt scholarship
- apply for fieldwork

everything else

- DON'T DIE
- whinge less
- sleep and eat properly
- apply for summer work
- sort out accomodation
- find a dentist
- be a better person


...somehow, I think that's enough to be going on with.

I have plans for 2007.

2007, I am determined, will be a good year. I am due a good year. I haven't had a really good year since - well, since the stretch between September 2002 and June 2003. That was a good stretch.

Resolutions:

1. Be a well, healthy, moderately happy person.

I tend to forget, you know, how much proper eating and proper exercise improves one's quality of life. Also proper sleeping. So a few gym visits a week, some karate, some not-pushing-myself-too-hard-too-soon, that might help.

2. Be a well, healthy, reasonably successful student.

See item 1 above. Since my goal this year is a First or a 2.I, some studying will be required. I don't plan to go overboard: lectures are twenty-some hours a week; a dozen hours of study ought to be a bare enough minimum to maintain a decent standard.

3. Achieve Job! and stop being such a parasite for the parent.

I need a weekend job. A student cannot live on learning alone, alas.

Included in this heading is the needfulness of not buying books every other week. (What part of I can't afford to do I not understand?) I'll have to cut down to one a month, or less. (Ouch.) (Use the library.)

4. Write a few short stories and possibly one of those novels swimming around in the back of my head.

There are 365 days in a year. If I can write 300 words for each of them, I'll have a respectable number of words. 109,500, to be precise.

Of course, the odds are bad for me writing 300 words every day. I have other things to do - college, for example. Earning money, for another. Exercise, for a third. (Health. Wellness is the first requirement.) Still, it's a goal.

5. Be a better person.

Morally, ecologically, personally. I always make this resolution. Usually I fail miserably. Holding oneself to one's own high standards is hard. Still, that doesn't excuse me not trying.


Consider this a meme, if you wish. Or not.

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I'm glad for the internet. It brought me two things today: legally free rock music and one of my older favourite poems, ( James Shirley's Death the Leveller )