hawkwing_lb: (Mordin wrong)
Success! Triumph! Things going right!

I spent the weekend mostly insomniac and playing videogames, but when I woke up at 1500 yesterday (after five hours' day-sleeping) I felt like myself for the first time in six or seven weeks. (It's been so long I have lost track of time spent bouncing between infections.)

It's shocking, how little I realised how strongly I was affected, until I felt more myself again. Yesterday for the first time I could walk three miles in a reasonable timeframe and still feel alive after: I could string words together while writing a review in ways that did not make me feel as though I was clawing through cotton wool.

I still have very little endurance. For example, today I've managed to spend a little time in the gym and read a book, and now I'm really tired - but it's not the tiredness of sick weakness so much as the tiredness of a body long in enforced idleness, only recently restored to activity. Here is hoping that I avoid yet another relapse into awfulness.

Having lost six weeks of work (and they are lost weeks: I'm sure I must have done something other than keep up with the column for Tor.com, but I have no memory of doing thesis work after the end of September [if I read a book for research, I have no recollection of either book or contents], and if anything was writ during that time, doubtless it will only need to be redone), I really need to get my head around to what comes properly next.

Searching back through my emails, I find that I sent my supervisor a set of draft chapters on the 14th of October, and added: "In the remainder of the year - and up to March of 2014 if necessary - it is my goal to write two further draft chapters: one on comparative (modern) faith-healing and one which takes Aelius Aristides as a case study. Thereafter it is my plan to put all this material in proper order and construct the through-line of my thematic argument regarding the nature of experience and healing cult."

(Clearly I did do some work in early October. I just can't remember it.)

So I should settle in to do the comparative chapter. Good. There's a plan to be made for that, but at least I know what comes next now.
hawkwing_lb: (DA 2 scaring the piss)
So I have been to the doctor. A nice lady doctor, who made me want to trust her, which is pleasant in a doctor. After recounting to her the story of my health in the last two months, and laying out the present problem of disturbed sleep patterns and perennial tiredness, she very tactfully inquired as to whether my history with depression or the escitalopram may have anything to do with it (I approve of this in a doctor, although I don't think this is a depressive episode or, if so, it's only a spot of worse-than-usual dysthymia: it doesn't feel like depression, particularly. I am normally more anxious and self-esteem-eroding with depressed bits) - and finally gave a diagnosis of post-viral mumble mumble, recommended rest and tonics, gave me three sleeping pills to be taken when trying to reset my sleep patterns.

Sigh. ARGH RESTING BORED NOW.

Although, thank heavens for the medical card. At least I could see the doctor. Which made me feel better about being tired. At least I'm probably not suffering from something mysterious and deadly.

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