between the rock and the cold, cold sea

Today I had a friend staying, so I cooked.

Roast carrots and sweet potatoes in olive oil with red onion and thyme, fried sweet potato, mangetout and baby corn, sliced cucumber, and the last of the ham. And for dessert, strawberries and blueberries with vanilla icecream and maple syrup.

You know, when I have a couple of hours to spare, I'm actually not a total incompetent at this cooking thing. This is a startling discovery.

Sadly, most of the time, I'm much lazier than this.

Today was a good day. Until I got on the train to come home.

So there I was, minding my own business, surrounded by other people minding their own business, and before we leave town, two boys get on the train. About fourteen, fifteen: they start passing comments on all the women in the carriage, being randomly insulting and misogynist, doing just about everything short of pissing on the furniture to mark territory.

Everyone's ignoring them, or trying not to engage. Reader, I lasted four stops - that's twenty-five minutes, give or take - and then I lost my temper.

I stood up. I told them that their behaviour was juvenile, offensive, and inappropriate in a public place; that they might think they were amusing but they were not, and furthermore they should just shut up. (I'm pretty sure I spluttered over the just shut up.) They tried to talk back to me: I told them again that they were juvenile and offensive, and then when the louder boy tried to insult me, I got up in his face and told him to cease, and when he was still trying to figure out what "cease" meant, I changed carriages.

Because if I had been provoked - if the kid had so much as stood up and looked like he was going to push me - I was in the place where it would have been much easier to smash his face in than walk away. And if I'd stayed, the kid would have had to prove to his friend that I didn't intimidate him. And wanting to beat someone only about two-thirds of my weight to pulp isn't really an impulse I'm proud of having.

(And no, I'm not proud of the fact that I enjoyed getting up in the kid's face and intimidating him with superior size, strength, and barely-repressed fury either. On the other hand, maybe he'll think twice about behaving on the assumption that women in a public space exist for his amusement and convenience next time.)

Sigh. It is just barely possible that I have too much anger for anybody's good.